tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4869451915664239392024-03-13T15:23:31.151-04:00"JUST BE"I WILL be more, DO less.
I WILL be and Let Be.
I WILL Be who I am.
I WILL become what I want.
I WILL begin inside.
#1 THERE IS NO ONE WAY TO BE
#2 True being-ness is lighthearted, fun and downright stylish.
#3 The secret to being is inside of you, always has been and always will be (and it's no secret).Bor Eliza (aka B.E)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17093383402626410548noreply@blogger.comBlogger39125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-486945191566423939.post-58745877071265097092014-10-26T15:39:00.001-04:002017-04-05T15:34:24.472-04:00Beginning or Just the Beginning...?!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I've never thought about a blog idea, until recently when I've experienced an "a-ha" moment. I finally did it, at the last day of August 2010. I'm not sure what I will write here about, but I know that it will be my inspirations, random thoughts, and ideas...as my day begins and ends.</div>
Bor Eliza (aka B.E)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17093383402626410548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-486945191566423939.post-718123358748053762013-04-02T13:05:00.004-04:002013-04-02T13:05:47.080-04:00To Be Ourselves...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<em>“Many of us think that we have to say, or feel, or be something
other than what we are. We say things that we don’t mean, thinking that
it is what others want to hear. We pretend to feel things that seem
acceptable so that others will approve of us. In this way we hide our
true selves, both from others and our own selves. We bury our light in
the mire of pretense and ‘trying to’.” – Desert Alchemy</em></div>
Bor Eliza (aka B.E)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17093383402626410548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-486945191566423939.post-56221609635184919122013-03-15T11:16:00.001-04:002014-10-26T15:34:01.199-04:00Sea and Stars<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/--FUDJRB_zyo/UUM7ObzLqlI/AAAAAAAAAXw/DTCRhzTILEU/s1600/428451_4165210534500_1539890097_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/--FUDJRB_zyo/UUM7ObzLqlI/AAAAAAAAAXw/DTCRhzTILEU/s320/428451_4165210534500_1539890097_n.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<span class="userContent">Everyone who terrifies you is sixty-five percent water.<br /> And everyone you love is made of stardust,<br /> and I know sometimes you cannot even breathe deeply,<br /> and The night sky is no home,<br /> and You have cried yourself to sleep enough times<br /> That you<span class="text_exposed_show"> are down to your last two percent,<br /> But nothing is infinite, not even loss.<br /> You are made of the sea and the stars,<br /> and one day you are going to find yourself again.<br /> <br /> F. Butler ♥</span></span></div>
Bor Eliza (aka B.E)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17093383402626410548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-486945191566423939.post-57774373057330860312012-09-18T18:32:00.002-04:002012-09-20T15:44:18.255-04:00Just BE<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 20px; line-height: 26px;">Be fearless.<br />Be honest.<br />Be generous.<br />Be brave.<br />Be poetic.<br /><div class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;">
Be open.<br />
Be free.<br />
Be yourself.<br />
Be in love.<br />
Be happy.<br />
Be inspiration.<br />
Just Be.<br />
<br />
♥</div>
</span></div>
Bor Eliza (aka B.E)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17093383402626410548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-486945191566423939.post-308300740048804152012-05-09T19:04:00.000-04:002014-10-26T15:22:43.579-04:00To Be or Not to Be?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-family: Garamond;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: large;">A</span><span style="font-size: large;">
statement that postulates the idea of existence and non-existence in
one breath. Within that seemingly profound notion, you will discover the
intrinsic presence of balance. Yin and Yang, is yet another concept of
existence that requires balance between opposing forces by the very
nature of their being. The concept of non-existence could not be,
without the concept of being. Conversely, the concept of being could
not be without the concept of non-existence. To maintain both concepts
requires balance, without balance only one concept could exist or not
exist as the case may be.<br /><br />Plainly stated, time is balance. Time
is the concept that allows for our perceptions to cycle from being, to
not being, from the past into the future. The present moment, which is
all we truly ever experience is the fulcrum of balance within the
concept of time. Without time, or the perception of time, we would not
be able to hold onto the notion of opposites as with Yen and Yang, Good
and Evil, Existence and Non-Existence. <br />Opposites, remaining separate and apart, yet inter-dependent within the concept of time.<br /><br />Separation
then, is the idea that things are apart from one another. In opposition,
locked in this eternal struggle until balance is achieved through some
unification of principles or ideals. Our very own self perpetuated
perception of distance and time, where all things are in a cyclic
evolutionary process of improvement with destiny at the helm.
Acceptance and tolerance the only tools available to prevent
self-annihilation.<br /><br />The Pendulum is a symbol of time, swinging
left to right while consistently acknowledging the simultaneous
existence of opposites. The pendulum can only be left or right at any
given moment, except of course at that moment in time when it is dead
center. Not left, not right, but in unified balance. Think of that
moment when the pendulum is centered as the present moment in time when
all things left and right exist simultaneously in the "NOW".... The
concept of "NOW" commands our focus to the center or fulcrum of our
existence, the fulcrum in time between all things past and future. It
is where all creation resides in BALANCE.<br /><br />The "NOW" is all that is, ever was.... or will ever be. <br />It is NOW and only NOW that you can ever experience in time or eternity. <br />I AM, NOW is truth in its simplest form. <br />In the NOW there is only I AM, no room exists for I WAS or I WILL BE.<br /><br />Time
Stands Still before Eternity, just like the pendulum at that crucial
moment of balance between the ticks of time and concepts of opposition,
all things in creation co-exist in the NOW. The concepts of opposition
become united and one at this point, all things exist without time and
remain within the cooperative and eternal state of balance.<br /><br />Like
the words on this page, the entire script exists NOW, regardless of your
perceived process of evolution and experience in time to read and
understand them. It is NOW necessary to point out the balance between
the existence of the words and their non-existence which is represented
by the presence of the spaces or nothingness between them. Thus
allowing for your concepts of separation and time in reading them.</span></span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-family: Garamond;"> "ALL IS NOW.....NOW IS ALL....THAT IS"</span></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: large;">I
am reminded of a dream that I had years ago of a friend who passed
away. In the dream I was shown an egg and a set of scales. While holding
both symbols before me he said this. Balance, like the Egg, it is the
symbol of life !! It stands balanced between life and death, existence
and non-existence. <br /><br />I woke up and glanced at the clock noting 5
a.m. Later while at work someone came by and asked if I had heard the
news about my friend. I replied, yes I had...he died early this morning
at 5 a.m. They then asked...How did you know because his wife just
called only a few minutes ago? In his memory and of the symbols he
revealed I wrote the following regarding the cyclic balance of life.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: large;"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span><span style="font-family: Garamond; font-size: large;"><b>"AUTUMN"</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">Whisper of change on wings of wind...<br /> leaves of gold give way to them.<br />As each day folds into the night</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">Autumn evens out the light.<br />Symbol of life stands balanced within..<br />an equinox of Autumns call, to begin and end.<br />The gentle touch of Autumns spell..<br />then summer sleeps, through Winters Hell !!</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: small;"> </span><b><u style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b><u style="text-decoration: underline;"><span style="font-size: small; text-decoration: underline;">TRex@WorldWide-Evolution.com</span><span style="font-size: small;"> 1998/05/03</span></u></b></span></u></b></div>
Bor Eliza (aka B.E)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17093383402626410548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-486945191566423939.post-20599667151543412372012-03-25T21:26:00.002-04:002012-03-25T21:27:07.024-04:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xABQQCmh6mY/T2_F5UWauVI/AAAAAAAAAMg/D81MrbVE6NQ/s1600/388502_337176692963663_153445464670121_1544315_1008443552_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="320" width="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xABQQCmh6mY/T2_F5UWauVI/AAAAAAAAAMg/D81MrbVE6NQ/s320/388502_337176692963663_153445464670121_1544315_1008443552_n.jpg" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-86qpf1Ps_2g/T2_FtQM2smI/AAAAAAAAAMU/IkDFQ3Jhesc/s1600/374149_10150642793646864_201594091863_9515228_1534341779_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="288" width="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-86qpf1Ps_2g/T2_FtQM2smI/AAAAAAAAAMU/IkDFQ3Jhesc/s320/374149_10150642793646864_201594091863_9515228_1534341779_n.jpg" /></a></div>Bor Eliza (aka B.E)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17093383402626410548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-486945191566423939.post-7993788404567734132012-03-19T13:49:00.000-04:002012-03-19T13:49:50.468-04:00New LifeI imagine a New Life growing from the ground, basking in the warm Spring sun.<br />
<br />
A fresh grown New Life would mean no more worrying - since we could just regrow and change whenever problems come up...<br />
<br />
This New Life would mean no more stress - since we're always doing what we want, when we want, with the people we love...<br />
<br />
This New Life would mean the best possible work / life balance at all times - since we design our lives exactly the way we want to...<br />
<br />
… In fact, this New Life would mean a second chance at a life we love. As soon as we pluck it from the ground.Bor Eliza (aka B.E)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17093383402626410548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-486945191566423939.post-83570367860513220142012-02-21T11:54:00.000-05:002012-04-26T14:58:56.082-04:00КАК ПРАВИЛЬНО СТРОИТЬ ОТНОШЕНИЯ?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-size: small;">Есть известный афоризм о том, что люди часто предлагают партнеру стать друзьями, когда собираются порвать отношения, хотя с этого их нужно было начинать. Не будем забывать, что отношения мужчины и женщины – это, прежде всего, отношения человека с человеком, и для их гармонизации применимы те же способы, которые помогают улучшить отношения с любыми людьми. Почему-то мы часто забываем об этом и, найдя свою «вторую половинку», со временем начинаем предъявлять к ней слишком высокие требования, считая, что уж с любимым-то человеком можно расслабиться и вести себя как заблагорассудится, он ведь нас любит и должен понять. Но, к сожалению или к счастью, природа создала нас в единственном экземпляре, и нет никого на планете, кто мог бы понять нас целиком и полностью. Поэтому вспомним основы построения хороших отношений:</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">- Уважение. Каждый имеет право на высказывание собственного мнения и принятие собственных решений. Руководствуясь принципом «Кто не с нами – тот против нас», долгосрочные отношения вряд ли построишь.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">- Общение. В данном случае я говорю не об обмене фактами и новостями, а об обмене эмоциями и чувствами. Говорите партнеру, что вы чувствуете по поводу тех или иных событий, стремитесь понять, как к ним относится он. Если ваш избранник держит свои чувства при себе, то вам-то точно не стоит этого делать – чрезмерная закрытость сделает отношения фальшивыми и ненатуральными. Старайтесь не говорить слишком много обиняками и намеками, вспомните детскую игру в «глухой» телефон. Спросите любого мужчину – лучше он сразу узнает, что именно вам не понравилось, чем через месяц вы устроите ему истерику и выскажите сразу все, что накопилось в душе за это время.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">- Терпение. Чтобы съесть яблоко, нужно сначала посадить семечко, вырастить саженец, дать ему возможность зацвести и завязать плоды. Так и с отношениями. Какие-то чувства возникают сразу, для созревания других требуется время. Если вы делаете что-то для улучшения ваших отношений, будьте готовы к тому, что результат может появиться не сразу. Но крохотная капля точит твердый камень, говорит народная мудрость. Дайте вашему партнеру какое-то время, чтобы измениться внутренне. Если у вас скоро намечается свадьба, почитайте самые популярные свадебные приметы.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">- Инициатива. Отношения – это дорога с двухсторонним движением, но кто-то должен быть первым. Если отношения хотите наладить вы, то за вами и первый ход. Возможно и второй. Ну а если после этого ваш партнер не делает движения вам навстречу, придется вспомнить еще одно правило, старое как мир:</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">- Насильно мил не будешь. Любовь без взаимности – одно из самых тяжелых переживаний человека и иногда заставляет человека пойти на все, что угодно, силой заставить себя полюбить. Увы, итогом такого поведения обычно остаются полностью разрушенные отношения, перечеркивающие то хорошее, что было в них раньше, разочарование, чувство униженности и обида на всю жизнь.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">http://kakpravilno.info/2011/02/kak-pravilno-stroit-otnosheniya/</span></div>Bor Eliza (aka B.E)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17093383402626410548noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-486945191566423939.post-9742714185843848392011-11-29T17:31:00.003-05:002013-10-16T14:52:01.552-04:00What Becoming An Aunt Taught Me About Love<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Growing up I thought babies were the cutest creatures in the universe and oh-so fun to have around. And I always thought and that one day I will have one of my own, just part of the traditional order of things: meet a man, get married, have babies, repeat with the next generation. And I wanted that. I really, really did.But then, over time, something shifted. I got older. Life started to unroll in front of me. Real life. Not just those blissful early years that look like a blur of wishing on stars, Popsicle, piano practice and incessantly long school days. I went to college. I started a career... I grew up. My friends and I vented over how overwhelming adulthood was, how hard it was finding decent men to date—not to mention it was clear I had a lot of personal journeying to do before settling down. As I thought about, dabbled in and eventually wrote about romantic love, I had to wonder if a good partner actually existed for me. Where was he?<br />
<br />
I fantasized about marriage, about a wedding and that incredible husband... but with all the pressures and stressors life piled onto my shoulders, babies had fallen off my wish list. I just didn't feel that longing anymore. The maternal instincts that I'd once been convinced were programmed in me—somewhere between womanly intuition and romantic attraction—had somehow dissolved. I couldn't picture myself rocking a newborn in the early morning hours or changing innumerable dirty diapers. Maybe sleepless nights, dark circles painted under my eyes, disheveled hair and spit-up stains weren't for me after all. I mean, that was the essence of motherhood, right? Taking care of myself was challenging enough. I couldn't imagine feeling responsible for another person's survival. Maybe I'd lost something over the years. Or maybe, as much as the notion hurt me, I just didn't have it in me.<br />
<br />
But then, it happened. I hadn't just imagined those early instincts.<br />
<br />
Last November, my nephew was born. I remember the trip to visit him in the hospital, his first day on this earth. The hallway to that hospital room was long and dim, and I grew tentative as I approached, hearing a rush of activity and visitors inside. When I entered, suddenly all eyes were on me. "Do you want to hold him?" my sister asked. And the next thing I remember is observing this tiny, perfect little human who was resting in my arms.<br />
<br />
He didn't cry. He never opened his eyes. He just slept soundly near my heart, his little body rising and falling with every breath. As I looked at him, I knew:<br />
<br />
This baby is going to change my life.<br />
<br />
Suddenly, it all came back to me. Loving a baby was a natural skill. I congratulated the parents on their beautiful child, and I left the hospital a couple hours later understanding why so many women became mothers. It's a gift. And since last November I've discovered that being an aunt is one too.<br />
I've watched him grow from a tiny infant, to an inquisitive baby, to a fearless toddler and now a joyful little boy. I've often mused that while his mom and grandma are his caretakers, I'm more like his buddy. We play with toys and wander the house together trying to walk, step by step. I tote him on my hip and show him the falling leaves, the sun setting. His personality develops little by little, everyday, and my perspective on life—and my understanding of my role in the universe—evolves right along with it.<br />
That's the great thing about being an aunt, especially if you are lucky enough to experience it before you become a mother. It's a taste of what's ahead, a perspective-changer. I see life as a step-by-step process and, like babies taking their first steps, we all progress at different paces. But it's important to think ahead, to anticipate the later steps while you're still mid-stride on the present one.<br />
<br />
Also very importantly, being an aunt has highlighted, underlined and bolded my priorities as I search for romantic love. Mr. Right must have the qualities of a good father—sensitivity, commitment, flexibility, selflessness, strength and quiet confidence. He needs to be the head of the household, and be a caring dad, because that's the other thing about being an aunt. Although I'm a buddy most of the time, I'm also a caretaker when my nephew needs me. I give him hugs when he cries. I know when he's hungry, tired or just crabby from teething. Babies need non-stop assurance and patience... just like us. My nephew has given me one of the greatest gifts I will ever receive: an understanding of what it means to love. Thanks to what he's taught me, I now know I'm capable of being a not only a wife, but a mom. I have a (nearly) one-year-old to thank for that. While today I'm an aunt, a buddy and friend, I can see myself transitioning into the role of mother. Until I met my nephew, I had no idea how much love I had to give. Now I get what raw, real human love looks like. It's selfless. It's unconditional. No strings attached. It's necessary in any great relationship. And it's something I will seek out in a spouse as I move, step by step, through my life.</div>
Bor Eliza (aka B.E)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17093383402626410548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-486945191566423939.post-67180737885658825102011-11-29T17:05:00.004-05:002015-10-27T10:46:22.424-04:00female friendships; friendships man and woman<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I've been catching myself lately thinking about people in my life, friends, and friendship. There is a Russian saying "you will know who your true friends are when you are in trouble". So, here I am trying to understand what is true friend, what are friends, and what are friends in between.<br />
Do we choose our friends? Are there friends at all? Do we always act from an Ego? do we always want something back in return from our friends, or our friendship is unconditional? And what about when you don't hear from them in a while, and you speculate and wonder, why he/she can't just pick up the phone and dial you, and your friend perhaps thinks the same. And here we are waiting on one another to make a first move. While time is passing, months are passing, and nothing happens. I thought of calling first, actually I always did,if its a female friend, then its not an issue calling any time of the day. But if its a male friend,then here is were riddle hides.<br />
Are we only being friends with those whom we enjoy, or learn from, or can "receive" something that we will benefit from?<br />
I personally not clear what true friendship looks like, and feels. Always thought that I was a good friend, while growing up, I had many acquaintances, and only two or three close friends. Those are still in my life, but life has drifted us apart trough years. Oceans separate me with my childhood friend,and only few blocks separates me with another. <br />
<br />
<br />
why do we become so absorbed in daily mundane life and much absorbed in our own issues,that we only remember friends when we suddenly left alone in our solitude.<br />
<br />
I believe that we come into this life alone, with nothing and we leave this life alone with nothing. <br />
How do we become a better friend, how do we know what is what, who is who? I've learned that first we must master to balance our ego and our intuition. Our ego can work for us, and not against us. If you want to have friends, be a good friend first. Learn not to expect much from another, practice compassion and empathy.<br />
<br />
Yes, and the friendship between man and a woman...is not possible. or is it ?<br />
<br />
I have few good gay gays friends and I enjoy our friendship. But I am talking about... yes, that kind. When you met him, he is into you and you are not. You offer "friendship" he takes it. Another scenario, is you are into him and he is "confused" and offers to be friends. In my opinion its a torture for the one who has feelings. Why would you stick around, oh yes...there is hope, right? maybe he will see how great you are and will change his mind. I've been there before. <br />
<br />
Well, I do believe, that great, everlasting relationships starts up as an awesome friendship first. Sigh...and not vice verse. <br />
<br />
Ok, I will leave it at that for now...I guess time will show....!?</div>
Bor Eliza (aka B.E)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17093383402626410548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-486945191566423939.post-38477783420911643772011-10-05T19:30:00.000-04:002011-10-05T19:30:22.564-04:00today's thoughts out loundI often wonder about how some people come into our lives and stay for a while,some stay for ever, some leave and come back multiple times...and some never return...even though secretly we very much want them to return into our lives, while subconsciously knowing that its time to move on.Bor Eliza (aka B.E)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17093383402626410548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-486945191566423939.post-82927093167304878712011-08-15T20:41:00.001-04:002011-08-15T20:42:36.142-04:00why love hurts...?(Osho) " The man who is without love is narcissistic, he is closed. He knows only himself. And how much can he know himself if he has not known the other, because only the other can function as a mirror? You will never know yourself without knowing the other. Love is very fundamental for self-knowledge too. The person who has not known the other in deep love, in intense passion, in utter ecstasy, will not be able to know who he is, because he will not have the mirror to see his own reflection.Relationship is a mirror, and the purer the love is, the higher the love is, the better the mirror the cleaner the mirror. But the higher love needs that you should be open. The higher love needs you to be vulnerable. You have to drop your armor’ that is painful. You have not to be constantly on guard. You have to drop the calculating mind. You have to risk. You have to live dangerously. The other can hurt you’ that is the fear in being vulnerable. The other can reject you’ that is the fear in being in love. The reflection that you will find in the other of your own self may be ugly’ that is the anxiety. Avoid the mirror. But by avoiding the mirror you are not going to become beautiful. By avoiding the situation you are not going to grow either. The challenge has to be taken.Many times we stay in relationships based on old programs or beliefs that attracted us to our partner in the first place. If we learn to love ourselves (where we feel deserving and worthy of love) and ourpartner stays stagnate…how can we love someone who doesn’t love themselves "? <br />
OshoBor Eliza (aka B.E)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17093383402626410548noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-486945191566423939.post-81504672709054450482011-08-15T20:37:00.000-04:002011-08-15T20:37:30.878-04:00Что же такое любовь- by OshoЛюбовь -это не страсть, любовь -это не эмоция. Любовь -это очень глубокое понимание того, что кто-то завершает тебя. Кто-то делает тебя замкнутым кругом. Присутствие другого увеличивает твое присутствие. Любовь дает тебе свободу быть собой; это не чувство собственности. Поэтому наблюдай -никогда не считай секс любовью, иначе ты будешь обманут. Будь бдителен и когда ты начнеш чувствовать с кем-то, что самого его присутствия, чистого присутствия -ничего больше, ничего больше не нужно; ты ничего больше не просишь, лишь присутствие, лишь то, что другой есть, -достаточно, чтобы сделать тебя счастливым... Что-то в тебе расцветает, распускается тысяча и один лотос, и тогда ты любишь. И тогда ты можешь пройти через все трудности, которые создает реальность. Многие боли, многие тревоги -и ты сможешь пройти через них, и твоя любовь будет цвести больше и больше, потому что все эти ситуации станут вызовами. И твоя любловь, преодолевая их, будет становится более и более сильной. Любовь -это вечность. Если она есть, тогда она продолжает расти и расти.Любовь знает начало, но никогда не знает конца.<br />
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OshoBor Eliza (aka B.E)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17093383402626410548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-486945191566423939.post-5059294763884830452011-08-04T11:46:00.003-04:002012-05-15T11:24:53.466-04:00Flows by the Law of Least Resistance....humble existence<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
My humble existence since I decided to walk away from my two year job in Westchester in March,2011 had made me realize a lot of things about myself, life, and our material world as well as spiritual.<br />
Still unemployed, and at times feeling that the light at the end of the tunnel will never shine me the way out, I have my low days where I don't even feel like getting up,and just close my eyes and disappear from the harsh and painful reality,and my high days where I'm full of hope inspiration and energy,knowing that its all orchestrated for my highest good.<br />
I've learned and still learning that I can live without certain things that couldn't imagine existing, and thinking were necessary to me before,such as expensive clothes,and twenty pair of shoes. Basic food,that I need to survive on is merely so little that I can sustain my energy levels, no need for fancy caviar and red vine. Exercise that is possible to do at home without spending fortune on gym membership,just so you can use their fresh towel services or watch TV while running on a treadmill.<br />
Spiritual unseen world is all around us, and I've learned that if I constantly sharpen my senses and follow my gut feeling (aka intuition) amazing Divine arrangements start happening that are simply beyond explanation. No...money didn't fall out of the sky to me,but people and situations did that lead me to new job interviews and new meetings.<br />
I also learned that people will always let you down, but if you drop all the expectations it will be much more easier, you still can trust them anyway, you only try to be more in touch with your intuition and use your "inner-filter" cautiously, because in the end of the day you still love and forgive and it helps tremendously for my spiritual growth. <br />
Of course its just impossible to live without internet and mobile phones nowadays,and I am grateful for still having this powerful and helpful connection that aids me to network and search for new avenues of exploring my creativity and network. <br />
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Falling down is a part of life...getting back up is living..!!!<br />
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<3<3<3 </div>Bor Eliza (aka B.E)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17093383402626410548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-486945191566423939.post-5578268134339284542011-07-08T10:24:00.002-04:002011-09-30T14:01:04.892-04:00She let go - Safire RoseShe let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go. She let go of the fear. She let go of the judgments. She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head. She let go of the committee of indecision within her. She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons. Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.<br />
<br />
She didn’t ask anyone for advice. She didn’t read a book on how to let go… She didn’t search the scriptures. She just let go. She let go of all of the memories that held her back. She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward. She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.<br />
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She didn’t promise to let go. She didn’t journal about it. She didn’t write the projected date in her Day-Timer. She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper. She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope. She just let go.<br />
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She didn’t analyze whether she should let go. She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter. She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment. She didn’t call the prayer line. She didn’t utter one word. She just let go.<br />
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No one was around when it happened. There was no applause or congratulations. No one thanked her or praised her. No one noticed a thing. Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.<br />
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There was no effort. There was no struggle. It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad. It was what it was, and it is just that.<br />
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In the space of letting go, she let it all be. A small smile came over her face. A light breeze blew through her. And the sun and the moon shone forevermore.”Bor Eliza (aka B.E)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17093383402626410548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-486945191566423939.post-42341340975570220472011-06-06T17:14:00.000-04:002011-06-06T17:14:56.685-04:00June 6,2011в жизни каждой девушки рано или поздно появиться он… совершенно не похожий на всех кто был до него… не идеальный, с кучей недостатков… но невероятно любимый… захочется разделить с ним кофе по утрам и просто посмотреть телевизор вечером… просто смотреть в его глаза и просто нежно целовать его губы… просто быть рядом… просто чувствовать что он только твой… ~♥~<br />
<br />
Люди уходят из моей жизни...Люди вторгаются в мою жизнь...А я просто одеваю очки и вставляю наушники, включаю любимую музыку, пью кофе и живу дальше…И что важно-ровно дышу…Без сбоев с ярлыком "LOVE"...Без сбоев с ярлыком "YOU"... Я думала самое тяжелое и страшное это ждать и догонять...но не знала...что самое страшное...это боятся потерять.<br />
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Нельзя-сначала убивать, потом шептать:'Я не нарочно.'Нельзя все время предавать, потом молить:'Исправлюсь точно!'Нельзя сначала унижать, потом просить:'Прости за шутку.'Нельзя трусливо убегать, сказав,что вышел на минутку. Нельзя,вернувшись,сделать вид, что все как прежде остается. Ведь жизнь на месте не стоит. За все… всегда…платить придется…..Bor Eliza (aka B.E)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17093383402626410548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-486945191566423939.post-7326321819379243782011-05-24T17:09:00.002-04:002012-06-20T12:05:04.346-04:00Exerpt about love from Rav Michael Laitman's, PhD " Kabbala for Beginners" book<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
"Самое естественное чувство человека-это любовь к себе, что мы наблюдаем в самом откровенном виде в новорождёных и детях. Но не менее естественно, порождаемое любовью к себе, чувство любви к другому созданию,что питает бесконечными вариациями искусство, поэзию, творчество. Нет научного объяснения любви и порождающих её процессов.<br />
<br />
Все мы не раз сталкливались с таким естественным процессом в нашей жизни, как проявление чувства обоюдной любви, расцвет этого чювства и, как не странно, упадок. Причём, иммено в случае обоюдной любви, чем она сильнее, тем она быстрее проходит. И наоборот, чем меньше любит один, тем подчас сильнее чувство другого,а если почувствует вдруг отвенное чувство, соответственно этому уменьшается его любовь. И этот парадокс виден на примерах разного типа любви-между полами, между родителями и детьми и т.п. Более того, можно даже сказать,что если один проявляет большую любовь, он не даёт другому возможности стремиться к нему и сильнее полюбить его. Т.е проевление большой любви не позволяет любимому ответить в полную силу своих чувст и постепенно обращает чувство любви в ненависть. И это потому, что перестаёт бояться потерять любящего, ощущая его бесконечную слепую любовь. Постоянная неугасающая взимная любовь возможна только в том случает,если она не зависит ни от чего в мире "<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Rav Michael Laitman, PhD</div>Bor Eliza (aka B.E)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17093383402626410548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-486945191566423939.post-73469257612415146132011-05-16T16:45:00.003-04:002011-05-16T16:50:28.617-04:00Beauty is one of the most powerful and dangerous ideas in existence. It's a two-syllable word that haunts humanity.Women long for it, a thousand ships were launched to recapture it, and the world succumbs to it.<br />
<br />
Charles Reade said, "Beauty is power; a smile is its sword."<br />
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Beauty wields its power over men and women alike, but far more often, women become the victims of a modern and corrupt idea of beauty.<br />
<br />
The body of a woman sells you cigars and stilettos. The perfection of her bleached white smile and air brushed skin leads women to resort to anorexia, self-hatred and self-mutilation to reach the standard of beauty society has set.<br />
<br />
Plastic surgery went from a necessity for accident victims to an addiction that feeds an idea of beauty that is nothing more than a vacant fantasy.<br />
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It's tragic to witness the countless perversions of beauty. Beauty has been sexualized and cheapened. By removing the goodness and purity of beauty, true beauty has been lost altogether. A woman in today's society is caught in a vicious paradox. She is devalued and ignored if she isn't beautiful, and if she is beautiful, she becomes a sex object or a stumbling block.<br />
<br />
It's almost impossible for a woman to go a day without being constantly bombarded by images and comparisons, both from herself and other women.<br />
<br />
The definition of beauty has changed immensely since Socrates first attempted to define it. Socrates believed beauty was a form of purity. Today beauty is more often defined by exteriors. Beauty, for some, is 115 pounds on a 5'11" frame with perfect cheekbones and long blonde hair. For others, it's Marilyn Monroe's hourglass figure.<br />
<br />
In an article by Joe Greenwald titled "Ancient Greece and You," Greenwald discusses the change in the view of aesthetics from ancient Greece to the 19th and 20th centuries.<br />
<br />
The Greek philosopher Plato hypothesized that beauty is not relative; objects cannot be compared with one another. It was Socrates who first explored the definition of beauty. He felt aesthetics was a form of purity. Things that are pure within themselves evoke pleasure, thus beauty.<br />
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"The nineteenth and twentieth centuries were the first to try and define beauty scientifically. Laws were attempted to be constructed that could be applied to the definition of beauty. It was discovered that this method was too restricting ... Beauty was later defined as a 'term of approbation,' or a value, or higher stature, as apposed to 'pretty,'" Greenwald wrote. Beauty is not a definable or measurable trait. Women are inundated by the modern idea that being physically beautiful increases your value or worth as a person. But that is cutting the true definition of beauty off at the knees. Beauty is not bound by its physical aspects.<br />
<br />
In some cases, it's true. For some women, their obsession with beauty is entirely on a physical plane. One could also argue, however, the longing to be beautiful goes far deeper than a superficial desire to look like a supermodel.<br />
<br />
In her recently published book Captivating, Stasi Eldridge talks about how as women, we are haunted by Eve. Eve was perfect, beautiful, brilliant and brave. Every time a woman looks in the mirror, she is met with an image she knows doesn't measure up to what she was intended to be.<br />
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"So listen to this: beauty is an essence that dwells in every woman. It was given to her by God ... Beauty is core to a woman -- who she is and what she longs to be -- and one of the most glorious ways we bear the image of God in a broken and often ugly world," Eldridge wrote.<br />
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Among all the chaos and carnage of our lives, beauty is something that always lets us transcend the sensible and mundane aspects of life and glimpse the sublime.Bor Eliza (aka B.E)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17093383402626410548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-486945191566423939.post-10117280555741447622011-05-06T16:12:00.001-04:002011-05-16T16:45:24.779-04:00what is beauty?! "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" is a common phrase that expresses this concept.The subjective experience of "beauty" often involves the interpretation of some entity as being in balance and harmony with nature, which may lead to feelings of attraction and emotional well-being. In its most profound sense, beauty may engender a salient experience of positive reflection about the meaning of one's own existence. An "object of beauty" is anything that reveals or resonates with personal meaning. As a cultural creation, beauty has been extremely commercialized. An "ideal beauty" is a person who is admired, or possesses features widely attributed to beauty in a particular culture. <br />
The characterization of a person as “beautiful”, whether on an individual basis or by community consensus, is often based on some combination of inner beauty, which includes psychological factors such as personality, intelligence, grace, charm and elegance, and outer beauty, which includes physical factors, such as health, youthfulness, symmetry, averageness, and complexion. Inner beauty is a concept used to describe the positive aspects of something that is not physically observable.<br />
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While most species use physical traits and pheromones to attract mates, some humans claim to rely on the inner beauty of their choices. Qualities including kindness, sensitivity, tenderness or compassion, creativity and intelligence have been said to be desirable since antiquity.<br />
<br />
However new research comparing what humans claim to find attractive to their actual mating habits underlines the superficiality of "inner beauty," underlining the fact that the human animal relies on physical traits and pheromones just like every other animal to find a mate. That said, whether "inner beauty" does or does not measurably affect humans' mating habits, some traits classified as "inner beauty" do give an evolutionary survival advantage to either the individual or mating couple or group or all three. <br />
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Beauty is desired by women the world over. Millions fork over their hard earned cash for products which promise to “make them beautiful.” In the Western world, the word beautiful is usually used to describe a svelte woman with flawless skin, straight, sleek hair (usually blond), perfectly white teeth – I could go on perpetuating the image with predictable notions, but I am essentially describing a blank canvas, devoid of personality, “battle scars” and those lovable flaws that could potentially ignite the flame between her and her future mate.<br />
Beauty & sexual desirability<br />
On an animalistic level, a woman is more desirable when she carries features such as a waist-to-hip ratio of around 0.7, a symmetrical face and full lips, as these are signifies of high fertility and good health. These features may have been useful in that long gone era when having sex was purely for conceiving a child – how things change (!) – but in the modern age, there are also many other factors that contribute to our perception of beauty.<br />
In an absurd contrast to the notion of males seeking females whose physical appearance suggests fertility, studies have shown that males find pedomorphic characteristics in females to be favorable; in other words – features that make a woman appear childlike. Such features include being of less-than-average height and a face with traits of neoteny. It is believed that these unlock the urge to protect the female, and therefore become her “mate”.<br />
A slightly more difficult path to tread is determining whether skin tone affects beauty. Any comment that one skin color is more beautiful is perceived as being under-tonally racist and it is a tricky issue to explore. In Victorian times, a woman possessing a paler skin tone was seen as being more of a “gentlewoman” – the pale skin was a sign that the woman did not engage in outdoor labor due to her superior status within society. Yet, in modern society, tanned skin is typically seen as more attractive, as it implies a more active lifestyle, which in turn implies good health.<br />
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Many people look up to the fashion world as the ultimate source of human perfection. The stunning proportions of the models in comparison to the average population is rather striking aesthetically, yet, is beauty simply all about living up to this standard of what is almost human-based artwork?<br />
A female model is supposed to be just that – a model. A stand on which designers will prop and promote clothing which they have designed, their function similar to that of a moving coat-hanger. In essence, they are a blank canvas for the designer to produce their latest piece of artwork. Hence, the more human aspects of beauty are lost to the more aesthetic facets.<br />
For example, standard model proportions in inches tend to be around 34-24-34 (bust-waist-hips) which in essence produces a flat body from which the clothes will hang gracefully, without accentuating any of the more human features of standard beauty – remember the waist to hip ratio that proves so popular when looking for a mate?<br />
Also, like a piece of art, any characteristic the model carries which the designer classes as an imperfection (a wrong brush stroke here, a little cellulite there) must be erased. In the world of painting, this is remedied by a few precise daubs of paint, perhaps. In the fashion world, the remedy is perhaps a crash diet, or a painted face to produce, once again, a blank canvas.<br />
The harsh contrast between sexual desirability and aesthetic beauty is very striking, and the problems lie where the two get confused. By taking the human out of human beauty, we turn women into no more than a painting, something pretty to look at, with no real substance beneath. Yet, in turn, by rendering sexual attractiveness the most important part of beauty, we turn women into no more than baby-makers, ranked by childlike sexuality.<br />
Alas, when exploring female beauty, the shallowness behind the notion of the word becomes exemplified, and we tend to realize that we are neglecting perhaps the most important part of beauty itself – imperfection.Bor Eliza (aka B.E)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17093383402626410548noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-486945191566423939.post-79829369583616976602011-04-18T15:04:00.001-04:002015-11-06T16:07:55.602-05:00Я такая, как есть...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
"Я такая, как есть, я не буду другой, Я такая, как есть, я останусь такой. Я наивна бываю, бываю - вредна, Но, такая, как есть, я на свете одна. Я такая, как есть, я умею любить. Кто увидит меня, тот не сможет забыть. Я умею ласкать, но умею и бить. Я умею спасать и умею губить. Я такая, как есть я похожа на страсть. Строя жизнь, я себя успеваю ломать. Я немного грущу, и немного смеюсь. Я бесстрашна бываю, но я и боюсь. Я такая, как есть, я люблю помогать. Но бывает, что я не могу не кричать. Я бываю вольна, я бываю одна. Пылкой быть я могу, а потом - холодна. Я такая, как есть, я не стану иной. Я немного поплачу у вас за спиной, Вытру слезы и мило в ответ улыбнусь. И такой, как я есть, к вам опять повернусь..."<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Диана Гайденштейн</span></div>
Bor Eliza (aka B.E)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17093383402626410548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-486945191566423939.post-30495286443589057082011-04-18T14:51:00.002-04:002015-11-06T15:56:19.826-05:00why do I feel like I don't belong ...Or do I ..?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Since I was little I've always had this feeling of separation from everyone. I liked sitting all by myself in my own world and just be, just contemplate, dream, think...imagine. My family always felt that I was an outsider, and it didn't make them happy very much. Of course I've tried to fit in..I've tried to be like everyone else..so that everyone will be happy, but only later realizing that it didn't make me happy.<br />
Why is this feeling not belonging, feeling like someone just plopped me here...hmm... I think I can be here on this earth...but I not sure what to do on this earth. I always felt that I was different, different in a way that is very painful to realize that no one understands you, everyone thinks you are weird. <br />
I am not sure were it comes from...the older I get the more I see that I like me being different, although it comes not without pain and struggle inside, not wanting to be in the center of attention.<br />
<span class="userContent">Eliza B</span><br />
<span class="userContent">"Everyone who terrifies you is sixty-five percent water.And everyone you love is made of stardust,<br /> and I know sometimes you cannot even breathe deeply,and The night sky is no home,<br /> and You have cried yourself to sleep enough times,That you<span class="text_exposed_show"> are down to your last two percent,<br /> But nothing is infinite, not even loss.You are made of the sea and the stars,and one day you are going to find yourself again".<br /> <br /> F. Butler ♥</span></span></div>
Bor Eliza (aka B.E)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17093383402626410548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-486945191566423939.post-15640301139481681722011-04-16T12:59:00.003-04:002011-04-18T14:36:53.137-04:00April 16,2011...and here we go again,<br />
Isn't suppose to be spring???.. but there are few signs of it,trees have no patience as to start to bloom...so they do,the air is humid and very chilly temperature,weather fluctuates from 70F back to 50/60F, and though I hear birds are began nestling,they sing their hearts out towards the sun, which is hiding form us today again, it all seems promising, I am no longer have expectations,just "being" in the present moment. <br />
March has been very very difficult for many so I heard, I was one of them. Not sure why but the heaviness of it, the unknown wasn't really comforting though at times I felt that if one door has closed, another for sure should open soon enough. Sigh...not yet, April has just began, yet its almost the end of it...as I am trying to just be...Bor Eliza (aka B.E)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17093383402626410548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-486945191566423939.post-21432752813854510532010-12-28T10:03:00.000-05:002010-12-28T10:03:06.010-05:00“I can't control my destiny, I trust my soul, my only goal is just to be. There's only now, there's only here. Give in to love or live in fear. No other path, no other way. No day but today.”Bor Eliza (aka B.E)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17093383402626410548noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-486945191566423939.post-63405184993904277962010-12-06T17:13:00.002-05:002010-12-06T18:32:18.365-05:00I won't give up...<div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"> If I want to make myself irresistibly lovable..doing all what is within my power to bring about the change I wish to bring about, starting with myself - then I will trust, and let it be. Knowing myself. Being myself. The deepest desires of the heart are often granted when we least expect it. Things happen in their own time, if we let them. Ever stop looking, and then what you were looking for appears? <br />
You know how sometimes you meet somebody who changes your life, but then after awhile you forget how you felt about what changed everything. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Though,I am breakable sometimes,</div><div class="MsoNormal">I keep fighting for my kind of life,although I won't have the strength to fight.</div><div class="MsoNormal">Whatever the future might bring,I won't give up..If you've been looking for...Never stop!</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Does Unconditional Love really exists..?</div><div class="MsoNormal"> True love, I believe, is the way we humans describe the feeling we feel when we meet another soul in whom we see our own beauty reflected, at the moment of recognition we fall in love with the best parts of ourselves; when we look into the others eyes, we can remember why we were sent here in the first place. Perhaps it is what people refer to as soul mate.When I met him, as I thought he was my soul mate at the time,I had a mystical, inexplicable experience which has left me forever changed. This was something I have</div><div class="MsoNormal">experienced for the first time. I was in a relationship with someone who had TOTALLY different thoughts and process that I did, but I was pleasantly surprised that I loved him just as he is, truly and</div><div class="MsoNormal">honestly. This has been very liberating for me. However, though I feel an unconditional love for his spirit, it is often a challenge to deal with his human nature which is wrapped up within his social</div><div class="MsoNormal">conditioning (as is mine). We did not come to the earth to be unchallenged, however, but to strengthen the relationships and bonds we already created before coming here. Often the relationships we have the greatest challenges within, are with those with whom we feel the greatest bonds. For me,without the great love I feel for him, I would not have remained in the relationship for all the challenges I have had to face, but through the fires of hell I have been tested and grown spiritually. The experiences have been my teacher and the deep love I had for him has made me endure.We two are wounded souls who often are guilty of reacting despite the 'true love' that we share. And despite the fact that deep in my heart I know him as an extension of my self there are days when the battle is quite heated. We are not always our best selves. We don't always act lovingly towards one another. We are not always enlightened beings in beautiful holy love with one another. We are often in conflict with one another; our ideas often collide, desires don't always mesh and struggles ensue. We make poor choices, start stupid arguments and allow others to intrude on our relationship. We are learning to do better. We are working through past issues that really have nothing to do with the other. And, when all is said and done, nothing can touch the bond we created before our current human experience.Our spirits don't just love, they are love. Tapping into our divine source through meditation and prayer can help raise the consciousness of our relationships so that we are better able to truly love</div><div class="MsoNormal">ourselves. We continuously reincarnate with the same spirits so that we can work out or 'heal old heart wounds' Wouldn't it be nice if we could heal the old wounds through forgiveness, stop creating new wounds through awareness and just start living our lives as the adventure it was meant to be?</div>Bor Eliza (aka B.E)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17093383402626410548noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-486945191566423939.post-84179649291086684342010-11-15T11:10:00.003-05:002010-12-06T18:18:24.985-05:00i found this,unsent email...its very different feeling when I read it after a long time....<span data-jsid="text">столько воды утекло...</span><br />
даже в статусе я написала о том, что теперь одна. я была уверена в том, что я свободна!!!<br />
но... почему-то внезапно через определенный промежуток времени мне хочется увидеть твое фото... и я пишу тебе .. Ты отвечаешь на мои сообщения.. но мне не нужны эти ответы... порой меня даже раздражает то, о чем ты пишешь.. я не хочу отвечать на твои вопросы.. я вообще не хочу даже говорить с тобой...единственный вопрос, который выбивает меня из сил:<br />
Почему, чувствуя пустоту и равнодушие, я не могу отпустить тебя???<br />
<br />
<br />
<span data-jsid="text"><div class="text_exposed_root text_exposed" id="id_4ce15ad2cca081585614344"></div><div class="text_exposed_root text_exposed" id="id_4ce15ad2cca081585614344">Ты всегда останешся в моём сердце,прости я не хотела тебя терять..<br />
Спасибо тебе за все, что ты ко мне не испытывал...<br />
За то, что ты ник<span class="text_exposed_show">огда не возвращался. За то, что не видел во мне Человека.<br />
Так ведь легче жить, жить и быть уверенной в том, что ты никому не нужна.<br />
Нет напрасных надежд — нет и разочарований.<br />
<br />
-"Я не хочу тебя терять сказал ты мне,и ты всегда будешь в моём сердце"...!<br />
<br />
Я много писала тебе в течение этих лет..и посылала тебе некоторые письма,ты реагировал на них очень так уж не адекватно,обсуждать наши "странные".....<br />
отношения ты не хотел,вот мне и приходилось изливать всё на бумаге.<br />
<br />
Но это не главное, главное то что ты появился в моей жизни когда мне очень нужна была помошь ,Я поняла что ты пришёл в мою жизнь только чтобы вытащить меня из темноты а я имела неосторожность вместо благодарности ,полюбить тебя.<br />
<br />
Прошло пять лет, и твоя миссия закончена, она закончилась раньше конечно, но ни я , и ни ты не решались отпускать друг друга,надеясь на что-то... Конечно не всё было безоблачно между нами, но мы умудрялись прощать друг другу и оставатся "друзьями"..но у меня это плохо получалось<br />
<br />
Ты догадывался но молчал, и я не торопилась признаться..Прошло ещё много времени,волны чувств то накатывали меня с головой , то тянули за собой..заодно приливали тебя к моему берегу, а потом ты отплывал ...надолго.<br />
<br />
Сил молчать не было больше и я во всем призналась тебе.. Тебе не понравилась моя откровеность, ты сказал что ты устал от меня,вернее от моей глубины,моей драмы,моих чувств. Прости....<br />
<br />
Знаешь....Я хочу что бы ты был счастлив<br />
я всегда буду рядом,но ты меня наверно больше никогда не увидишь. Может когда нибудь ты повзрослеешь и всё поймёшь, но может будет поздно. Ты всегда останешься в моём сердце,прости я не хотела тебя терять...</span></div></span>Bor Eliza (aka B.E)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17093383402626410548noreply@blogger.com2