(Osho) " The man who is without love is narcissistic, he is closed. He knows only himself. And how much can he know himself if he has not known the other, because only the other can function as a mirror? You will never know yourself without knowing the other. Love is very fundamental for self-knowledge too. The person who has not known the other in deep love, in intense passion, in utter ecstasy, will not be able to know who he is, because he will not have the mirror to see his own reflection.Relationship is a mirror, and the purer the love is, the higher the love is, the better the mirror the cleaner the mirror. But the higher love needs that you should be open. The higher love needs you to be vulnerable. You have to drop your armor’ that is painful. You have not to be constantly on guard. You have to drop the calculating mind. You have to risk. You have to live dangerously. The other can hurt you’ that is the fear in being vulnerable. The other can reject you’ that is the fear in being in love. The reflection that you will find in the other of your own self may be ugly’ that is the anxiety. Avoid the mirror. But by avoiding the mirror you are not going to become beautiful. By avoiding the situation you are not going to grow either. The challenge has to be taken.Many times we stay in relationships based on old programs or beliefs that attracted us to our partner in the first place. If we learn to love ourselves (where we feel deserving and worthy of love) and ourpartner stays stagnate…how can we love someone who doesn’t love themselves "?
Osho
I WILL be more, DO less. I WILL be and Let Be. I WILL Be who I am. I WILL become what I want. I WILL begin inside. #1 THERE IS NO ONE WAY TO BE #2 True being-ness is lighthearted, fun and downright stylish. #3 The secret to being is inside of you, always has been and always will be (and it's no secret).
My opinion I have truly loved only one man my entire life,and have decided after long years that I had to leave him. I loved (and still) love him, however he cannot accept me for who I am today. I grew and he grew in other ways and our mirrors stopped matching.We can shower our partner with love and affection however it will never be enough for them if they don’t have love for themselves. If their “hammers “are banging away in their minds, no kind words or actions from others (even their loved ones) can help unless they are aware of those hammers and learn to identify when they come out and gently put them down when they are triggered. . Otherwise it’ll always be the other person’s fault and they will never be “enough”.Do we regress and fake it to stay in the relationship? It is my humble opinion that it truly takes two to make it work and if one doesn’t have love for themselves first (or is at least working on it) then loving another becomes way more difficult. .It is my belief (and maybe it is my naivety) that love can be harmonious and not painful when both partners are in alignment and love themselves first. I am not talking “ego kind of narcissism” but the love that comes from on e feeling deserving of being loved in the first place. Can it happen when you are with your partner; YES! However if the person you are with is triggering all your old “programs” and is not sensitive to them after you have explained them to him or her (because they just don’t get it) sometimes true love is knowing when to walk away. Is it love when being in the relationship isn’t serving you and you aren’t serving them ?I had to make the very painful (agonizing) decision to walk away from that man because I knew we were not a good fit. As I have laid in my bed many nights unable to sleep,my mind knows that I made the right decision but my heart aches. And truthfully some of my old non-worthiness beliefs come out to spook me telling me things like…how can you let him go? Who will ever love you? and so on…yet I know they are just old programs from a childhood.I know deep down that I had to be the one to end it as it looked like it was destined to have gone for another painful 6 years. Maybe, just maybe, we learn from our past loves what we needed from each other and our journey is to continue without the other so that we may continue to grow.We are all deserving of a kind of love that is peaceful and kind and full of joy
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